The Forgotten Number

Screenshot via @Numberphile on YouTube

I sat on my couch, half-watching some TV show I wasn’t really into, when my phone buzzed once, twice, and then… stopped. It was almost as if someone had tried to call me but quickly hung up, or maybe it was my phone acting up again. Either way, I squinted at the screen and saw… nothing. No missed call. No text. Nada.

Then it hit me. Granny. Granny must’ve tried to call me. She’d been trying to reach me all day, and I’d ignored it, mostly because Granny’s calls always came with some bizarre request. Last time she called, she asked if I knew how to fix a broken toaster. I told her she should probably just buy a new one, but she insisted that she needed that toaster. It was apparently the only toaster that could give her toast with the exact right amount of crisp. Like, is that even a thing? I don’t know, but Granny swears by it.

But this time… this time felt different. Maybe she really needed me. Maybe something happened. Or maybe—oh who am I kidding? Granny probably just couldn’t figure out how to use the new remote again.

Meanwhile, I’ve been waiting for Miss Jay to call me back for hours. Miss Jay is always like that, though. She says she’s going to call at a certain time, and then, surprise, she doesn’t. I’ve stopped being surprised, honestly. Every time she says, "I’ll call you later," what she really means is, "I’m going to disappear off the face of the earth and make you question every decision you’ve made since birth." Is it a promise if she never follows through? I’ve given up calling it a promise. A Miss Jay Special sounds more accurate.

Thinking about Miss Jay and her phone shenanigans brought me back to a weirder call I got recently. I mean, let me break this down: I think I’m in a relationship. I think she thinks she’s in a relationship with me. But the problem is neither of us really knows for sure. Isn’t that wild? She doesn’t have my number, and I don’t have hers, yet here we are, thinking we’re "together." What kind of relationship is that?

Anyway, she called me from someone else’s phone just to get in touch with me, so that’s got to count for something, right? But doesn’t that feel weird? Maybe it’s just me. Or maybe it’s the English language. Yeah, let's blame the language—English isn’t my first language, so that’s an easy out. But seriously, if you’ve got to borrow someone’s phone to talk to the person you think you’re dating, something’s off, right? Right??

Ah well, these are the deep philosophical musings of a man just chilling on his couch. Living in the present, not thinking too much about the past or the future, and letting questions marinate in his mind until they somehow answer themselves. I figure the answers will come eventually. Or they won’t. Either way, I’ll adjust, like we all do.

You know, I’m starting to wonder if understanding people’s behavior is the secret to surviving in this crazy world. Like, if there was some kind of apocalypse tomorrow, I bet the people who would survive are the ones who know how to read other people—95% of survival would be about that. It wouldn’t be about brute strength or who’s got the most canned beans stashed away (although, let’s not lie, beans would be clutch in that scenario). It would be about understanding the folks around you.

I mean, I’ve seen some wild stuff go down in movies—women taking out men twice their size like it’s nothing. It’s all about being smart, right? And trust me, I’ve met women who could take me out with one slap. You know the type, the ones who don’t even need to say a word. They just give you that look, and you know you're done. It’s not even a fight; it’s game over before you even get a chance to say, "But, Mom…"

Not that I’m talking about fighting or anything. I’m talking about working smart, not hard. You know, like in those nature shows, where one lion is chasing after some gazelle, running through the savannah like it's auditioning for the Olympics, while another lion’s just chilling, waiting by the watering hole, setting a trap. The second one’s thinking, "Why waste all that energy when the gazelle’s going to get thirsty eventually?" Smart, right? But then again, the one running probably knows that forest like the back of his paw and is sure he’s getting dinner that night. That’s survival.

So, where does that leave me? Somewhere in between the lion running after the gazelle and the one setting the trap, I guess. Except, instead of hunting gazelles, I’m waiting for Granny’s call and Miss Jay’s inevitable radio silence.

As I’m deep in thought about all this, Thor pops into my mind. Yeah, you know, Thor—the best Avenger. I don’t care what anyone says. You can keep your Iron Man, Captain America, whatever. Thor’s where it’s at. I mean, sure, Tony Stark’s got the quips, and Cap’s all about justice and honor, but Thor’s a literal god with a hammer that can summon lightning. He’s got style, he’s got power, and he’s got a sense of humor. Plus, he went from ripped, godlike Thor to… well, you know, the other Thor, and he was still awesome. Now that’s character development. Talk about adapting to your circumstances!

Maybe I should channel my inner Thor. Not the hammer-wielding part—let’s be honest, that would probably just get me arrested if I tried to start swinging hammers around town. No, I’m talking about the part where Thor just rolls with the punches, even when everything’s falling apart around him. If Granny never figures out her phone, if Miss Jay never calls, if my maybe-relationship stays in this weird limbo forever, well, so be it. I’ll survive. I’ll adapt. I’ll wait by the metaphorical watering hole while everyone else runs after the gazelle.

But just as I start feeling all zen and philosophical, my phone rings. For real this time. I glance at the screen, expecting to see Granny or Miss Jay’s name pop up. But nope. It’s some random number. Could it be? Could it be her, calling from yet another borrowed phone? Or is it Granny, using the neighbor’s line to tell me her toaster’s finally given up the ghost?

I answer, hesitating for just a second, and say, “Hello?”

“Hey,” comes the voice from the other side. “It’s me. I had to borrow my friend’s phone again…”

Ah, relationships in the modern age. Not exactly what I expected, but then again, when is anything ever?